Wow. I really don't know what to say.
The End.
Its Been A While....But This is good.
16 years ago
Friday, July 24, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Well Thats Just Foul.....
Fast food has been hittin up the sexual innuendoes real hard these days...With the Quiznos oven telling 'scott' to stick it in him and other creepy awakwadness and now this Burger King ad...(b(e)low) i was trying to make a joke myself right there with the word below as the word blow...well you get it and i guess its not really that funny if I have to explain it anyway... Oh but the Video Below for Hardee's needs no explanation it is pure unadulterated comedy GOLD.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
First there was FAILS now we have FALLS!!!!
First is Kristen Stewart the stoopid gurl from (GASP?@!) the ABSOLUTE FUCKING WORST "best" movie ever TWILIGHT!
yeah, i'm glad to see the fall....ahaha
The Second is Zachary Quinto from Heroes and STAR TREK (realistically the best movie EVER) its kinda bizzare I'm not sure wtf is going on here....its kinda epic nontheless....
Random LOL // Emily Rose
This is such an epic FAIL......this kid makes Emilt Rose look like a joke, the exorcist aint got shit on this WOW freak! Watch and Enjoy....ahahahahaaa
A Week (or so) in FAILS
Beyonce is always a FAIL in my book, she doesn't have to do a thing to end up here...
Come on bitch, We all knew you were lying about falling asleep in the tattoo chair! You wanted to be a hotter cooler Kat Von D and FAILed miserably. I sucks you tried to blame the tattoo artist, what bad press from him! But its worse for you, cuz you suck. FAIL.
What are you thinking Lady GAgA!?Q Wait what am I thinking? This is almost normal for this bitch, at least its just shoes all over jacket and not bloody tampons or something "cutting edge" like that...god what a mess. FAIL!
Oh Carl's Jr.....
Here is their new ad with Audrina Patridge with one of my favorite songs "Moneymaker" by Rilo Kiley:
We all remember Paris Hilton's I'm sure...but just incase:
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
She making my life easier....
This job is just oh, so, hard....i mean I'm a busy person. yeah whatever:
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Ashes to Ashes
Its like Batman got skull fu*ked by Sin City. Its kinda trippy, and 12 minutes long...but I think I recommend it, oh its also French, I think...
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Mini Rant.
Okay not really an well thought out post coming your way but here we go:
I have a friend that is trying to say that cigarettes are a more dangerous addiction then oxycotton and heroin....WTF kinda logic is that!?! He claims that plenty of people can use Heroin and whatnot their whole lives and they aren't guaranteed to die from it but that Cigs are almost a sure bet that you'll kick the bucket from a cigarette related death. I dont know-I'm furiously mad about that- if you agree with him, kindly leave my site. hahaaaa-rant over. I'm spent on this bull.
Monday, May 25, 2009
The world was in a tough place: Then There Was Susan Boyle.
Yeah, the title is practically the quote of the century...If only it was a fully real quote. Susan Boyle has taken over the planet. Even my out of touch mother is quote "A Susan Boyle Fan" when I asked her where she had even heard of Susan Boyle she said "On morning radio and Anderson Cooper" I of course know her because I live on the internet..but seriously, I dont think a white person in this country hasn't heard of this Scottish bitty.
Anywho, take note in the video bellow of the Jesus symbolism--they literally gave her godly light and did a slow zoom on her face--I was almost tempted to bow down and worship her. Take a look~
Friday, May 22, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
On my God. If Only...
If only I could be as good a mother as this woman. Well first I'd have to become a woman, then figure out how to carry a baby to term, then deliver it, but oh god! It would be so worth it if I could be just as classy as this dumb white bitch. I mean I could keep my kids out all night with me while I'm on a drug binge, but it is sooooo much sweeter with the fact she was doing blow off the baby while breast feeding him. Thats something I could never accomplish, and that makes me sad....
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
SOOOOO GOOOD!!!!!!!!!!
EXCUSE ME FOR MY "KANYE CAPS" BUT THE NEW STAR TREK MOVIE WAS SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!11!!!!1!!!! IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE HOW GREAT THE MOVIE WAS. I JUST GOT HOME FROM SEEING IT AND I JUST HAVE TO LET YOU KNOW IT WAS GREAT!!!!
I really was a fan of all the casting. Everyone was great, generally I find at least one problem with the casting in a movie...like one bitch will piss me off real bad, but this movie didn't have that. The only thing I had a problem with was there were tons of unidentified species of aliens but no Klingons or Ferengi!!!! Those are obvious choices of extraterrestrial and they were left out!! The only way this should happen is if the fact that "I SMELL A SEQUEL!" may in fact be a fact! But i loved it soooo much regardless of no Ferengi!
And I don't think I liked it just because I'm a giant loser crazy Star Trek fan because people I went with who never even have seen a second of anything Star Trek even thought it was great.
It was literally an action packed movie of extreme awesomeness and bad-ass-ne-a I know that word don't exist or make sense but that is literally a metaphor for the intensity that is the greatness of this movie.
Plus they got me to like the original crew, which I was never that keen on (mostly because of Shatner) Anywho, I was always the biggest fan of "The Next Generation" Patrick Stewart is so bad ass.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Well thats just Ballin
Yes, twice in a row, well, theres just a lot of Ballin going round, what can i say?
Oh, and look at all them commas in the last sentence, that seems unnecessary.
too bad, watch this though!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Well thats just Ballin'
Another new segment: "Well thats just Ballin'"
yeah.....pretty self explanatory.
check it!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
The Country is Broke! sleeves Cost Money!!
OH SHIT I LOVE WANDA SKYES!!
Like no ones business, this is my shit right here!!!!!
Head over to C-SPAN...okay, you'll never hear me sayin that again but this one time you should trust me because this is great. Wanda Skyes is my new hero for all this political humor that she did at the presidential "White House Correspondents Association Dinner" with tons of bitches in the room including the President she just goes for it, and does it well.
she goes after Bush, Nancy Pelosi, Oprah, Biden, Dick Cheney, Barrack, the nation, Old First Ladies, The Pope, Queen of England, Michelle, Rush Limbaugh, and tons of other bitches just go watch:
here are some highlights, but you should just go watch.
At Barrack:
"I don't need to see your nipples!"
"First Black president and he plays basketball; thats like one step forward two steps back!"
The best Palin joke i've heard to date!!! and then calls out the room for kinda heckin her.
Callin out Rush Limbaugh---"He needs a good water-boading"-----FAN_F*CKIN_TASTIC!!!!
good shit yo----"I can beak Shawn Hanity just by givin him a middle seat in coach"
Monday, May 4, 2009
Carolina Liar
Okay, so I'm totally whoring out this band (despite the fact that I've only listened to one of their songs so far, for all I know they actually suck) but this is definitely one of my top-ten favorite songs at the moment. It's called "Show Me What I'm Looking For" and it's by a band called Carolina Liar and I CANNOT stop listening to it and I think that everyone should love it just as much as I do. (And yes, that was one of the longest run-on sentences in the history of the world)
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Greek Life: Middle/High School all over again
Alright, so I go to a liberal arts college, aka, we're all supposed to be unique and diverse and accepting and blah freaking blah blah blah, right? WRONG. Apparently the "in thing" is to be a nasty skank bitch and only hang out with carbon copies of yourself. Perhaps this satirical college ad will help you to understand what I'm talking about...
Anyways, back to my point. Today, my roommate and I decided to venture down to Rathskellar because I'd never
actually been in there, and she didn't even really know it existed until I told her about it. So we went down there. The
place was closed but the doors were open, so we went inside.
I felt like I had entered another freaking dimension.
Seriously, another dimension where you and your "sisters" or "brothers" wear the exact same outfits and hang out
with each other every second of your lives and everything's covered in glitter and t-shirt paint. Annoying. As. Shit.
The place pretty much resembled a neglected pizza parlor that had been overrun by a middle school student
government with way too many arts and crafts supplies at their disposal. Gross.
The worst part? I felt like if we had walked in there and there had actually been people just chillaxing and shit, we
would have either:
A) Gotten food thrown at us, OR,
B) Been made so uncomfortable by being stared at mercilessly that we would have had to leave out of fear of
spontaneous combustion. Fo serious
Seriously, the vibe I got from that place made me want to hurl. It was like stepping into a room where people had been
violently murdered, or in this case, I'm guessing violently humiliated. So picture this. It's middle school, and you're in
the lunch line. You walk out with your tray of food into the main area of the cafeteria, and there are like, a bunch of
people just sitting around in their little cliques, and everyone's staring at you, and you have no place to sit.
This is that room. Only this time it's full of fake-tan adults with acrylic nails and enough money in their trust funds to
get wasted every night at the local bar for the next four years. In other words, this is a room full of champions.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I totally don't understand the need for Greek life on my campus, or any other
college campus for that matter. They all claim that it's about community service and their resumes, but we all know
it's about getting laid by every herped up sorority girl for the fraternity guys, and dressing exactly like 85 other fake
blonde bitches for the sorority girls. This is a LIBERAL arts college. So much for individuality I guess...
Thursday, April 30, 2009
PDA: A growing epidemic that pretty much warrants murder
PDA is something that has always grated on me, (possibly due to the fact that I'm alone and slightly jealous) but today I literally wanted to commit acts of homicide. Whilst walking into Bits and Bytes with my friend, I noticed an extremely cuddly couple nuzzling each other in one of the booths closest to the door. Quite frankly, it was despicable. They were sitting next to each other, and the girl was eating a bag of potato chips while basically sitting on her boyfriend's lap. Meanwhile, he had his arm around her and felt the need to caress her arm incessantly. As my friend and I were walking towards the food area, the girl kept staring at us for God knows what reason (perhaps because my gay friend is far more attractive than her boyfriend could ever be and she mistook us for being together and was insanely jealous? I tend to get those looks a lot for some reason. They don't hold as much satisfaction as you would think). I knew if I focused on their disgusting display I would fly into a Hulk-like rage, flipping their table over and pouring that bitch's potato chips all over the two of them. So I went and got food with my friend instead. Once we had gotten our food we were getting our utensils and looking for a place to sit. Thank goodness for us, we had the pleasure of walking by these two champions again. This time the girl was kneeling up in the booth, basically straddling him while they kissed oh so tenderly.
What.
The.
Fuck.
ATTENTION HOFSTRA SLUTS (and any other girl that thinks it's okay to give head and/or have sex in public): NO ONE GIVES A SHIT THAT YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND. Why do people feel the need to flash a neon sign that they're dating? No one's gonna steal him from you you nasty skank, he's not even that cute.
Oh, and p.s.
Watching you ram your tongue down his throat makes me regret the ridiculous amount of money I just spent on some nasty shit Hofstra food. I've eaten at Bits maybe four times this year. Thanks. A fucking. Lot
In short, keep it in your pants. Your CEO father spent the extra however-much-money on a single dorm room for you for a reason
Friday, April 17, 2009
On my mind...
i remember that day like it was just a dream. i can sit down and it comes right back to me. barely have to close my eyes to remember they way it unfolded...i can hear you there feel the light and sounds reflected; the presence of another, the warmth of a flame in the cold, a friend.
but that ended. much faster then it began to say the least.
why did you go, and why did you leave?
i don't understand your replacing me. there once was a time of inseparability but now you wouldn't even want to be seen with me. I'm not the the one who changed, i'm not the one who has lost. you are missing out on life you will pick up the cost of loosing me.
I will keep on staying strong, they tell me everyday that they could never be in my shoes, and it is ture must couldn't, i know that YOU never could do what i do. what i have to do everyday. the battle it takes to stay, well, just to stay here.
i take this punishment in stride, the pain bounces of me for the most part only fleeting memories can trigger the tears because of what we had and what we now lost.
I will continue to extend outward to YOUR bothers and if they feel so inclined, they can keep pretending like i dont exist. then at least i cant say i didnt try to stay human i never denided the life-they are the ones who must keep the anger and blood on their hands.....yet keep your younger brothers incheck...they know not of what they judge.
Nevertheless.....My soul is clean, my body is now too, yet i wish to wash myself of this fiasco but i know it'll be a long time before i can ever become clean. maybe we'll meet in another life time where our friendship may mean more to either you or i to keep it gong.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Ty Ty causing Disaster and Panic.
Okay I aint got much to say, this kind of speaks for itself...I heard news about a few people getting injured in a "model stampede" outside the NYC casting call for the next season of America's Next Top Model--well, now there is a video of the madness. just take a look at what kind of damage people will do just to see tyty. them bitches is actually fighting like throwin fists rippin hair--its crazy, just watch.
Wow...
i've loved this site for a while now but you gotta go try it for yourself-- its really bizarre. okay so it basically a site that tells you whats going on in your life- ie you stresses your mental problems and whatnot...but its CRAZY accurate. I feel like a jerk trying to sell you stuff by saying all of this but its just way to amazing to not share. okay so it is colorquiz.com and it is amazing, here are my most recent results and if you know me or anything about my current life you'll understand how fucking accurate it is:
Circumstances are such that he feels forced to compromise for the time being if he is to avoid being cut off from affection or from full participation.
| Sensitive; needs esthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm intimacy. |
| The tenacity and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties has become weakened. Feels overtaxed, worn out, and getting nowhere, but continues to stand his ground. He feels this adverse situation as an actual tangible pressure which is intolerable to him and from which he wants to escape, but he feels unable to make the necessary decision. |
| His need to feel more causative and to have a wider sphere of influence makes him restless and he is driven by his desires and hopes. May try to spread his activities over too wide a field. |
| The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond his capabilities, or reserves of strength, have led to considerable anxiety and a sense of personal (but unadmitted) inadequacy. He reacts by seeking outside confirmation of his ability and value in order to bolster his self-esteem. Inclined to blame others so that he may shift the blame from himself. Anxiously searching for solutions and prone to compulsive inhibitions and compulsive desires. |
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I NEED ONE!!
Okay, I don't really need this but it would be handy if you had a lot of incriminating objects you needed to get rid of on the quick. But seriously, I get to a point in this video when I say to myself "really? I think i get the idea.." Personally, i think they go too far with this but-whatever works to sell your shit!
I Know I said I was gonna class it up round here. Looks like it aint happenin yet-I'm tryin tho...ahah
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Sorry---
This has kinda of turned into a slummy dump of the internet and that wasn't my intention-it was supposed to be a slightly sarcastic place full of satire: i will be getting some more interesting and slightly more intelligent shit going on soon.
Expect the revolution! I've updated the site visually to prepare the way for the changes.
oh i'm totally keepin the kitties though~ hahahaa
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Presidents Day.
today is basically a day to just sit on your ass and thank...well I actually don't know what today is for but i know that i got to veg out all day. Unfortunately, because I am dying of a mysterious ailment that can only be described as "the death" I did not get to do my usual pigging out to go along with my sedentary lifestyle. Clearly I am just begging diabetes (or if you are over 60 "diabetus") to come and ravage my innards. Nevertheless, for your own personal pig out needs I have some links to help you get your fat on in style....good luck!
First start with the lovely alcoholic beverage:
Then, because it sounds really, umm, err, presidential and like something "Classic Americans" would eat try...
Another "American" treat would definitely be:
HOLY SHIT. Nothing can top this so I'll end here. This is essentially death on a roll:
Thanks to This Is Why You're Fat for all there ridiculous foods.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
LOLcat Thursday on Wednesday!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Kitty Cam!
My Favorite Puppy cam went off line not too long ago but now i have a new fixation-the kitty cam and they don't sleep nearly as much as the puppies did so i can pretend that it is more interesting.
Its not but whatever it takes for me to sleep at night makes me fine with saying it.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Oh......
Yeah-
I pretty much got nothing to say about this other than "Oh......"
Just take a look, I'm pretty sure you'll agree.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Well, thats Unfortunate...
Here are some "real classy" mugshots....i think they all deserve to win an award or someshit because they all have the most fantastic hair.
There is even more mugshot gold over at Oddee so click to be taken to the glory land of idoits with great, great, GREAT hair.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
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