On my mind...

i remember that day like it was just a dream. i can sit down and it comes right back to me. barely have to close my eyes to remember they way it unfolded...i can hear you there feel the light and sounds reflected; the presence of another, the warmth of a flame in the cold, a friend.

but that ended. much faster then it began to say the least.

why did you go, and why did you leave?

i don't understand your replacing me. there once was a time of inseparability but now you wouldn't even want to be seen with me. I'm not the the one who changed, i'm not the one who has lost. you are missing out on life you will pick up the cost of loosing me.

I will keep on staying strong, they tell me everyday that they could never be in my shoes, and it is ture must couldn't, i know that YOU never could do what i do. what i have to do everyday. the battle it takes to stay, well, just to stay here.

i take this punishment in stride, the pain bounces of me for the most part only fleeting memories can trigger the tears because of what we had and what we now lost.

I will continue to extend outward to YOUR bothers and if they feel so inclined, they can keep pretending like i dont exist. then at least i cant say i didnt try to stay human i never denided the life-they are the ones who must keep the anger and blood on their hands.....yet keep your younger brothers incheck...they know not of what they judge.

Nevertheless.....My soul is clean, my body is now too, yet i wish to wash myself of this fiasco but i know it'll be a long time before i can ever become clean. maybe we'll meet in another life time where our friendship may mean more to either you or i to keep it gong.