Random LOL

Because it is christmas...(Almost)

This would be BOSS.

I wish I magic computer skills so i could whip up a video as cool as this one! Thundercats were cool as hell when i was younger...when i was in 7th grade i woke up at 6:30 every morning just to watch that shit. Now, I know this is fake but Brad Pitt, Vin Diesel, Hugh Jackman, and some bitch from the some tv show on Sci Fi i used to watch...I think it was called farscape...who knows. But yeah this would be some bangin shit yo.  

My Indestructible Little Yaris Mobile... and random LOLcat

Ok, so last night some fucking Douchey McDoucher Bag decided it would be cool to rear end me while I was stopped & letting someone get of the fucking middle of the road like a dumb ass [mind you, they almost missed their exit..I was being nice. See where that shit gets you, kids?!] I also can't fail to include the fact that I was blaring on my horn to show car # 1 [a.k.a. Douchey McCauseanaccident Stein] that I was letting them safely get onto the exit. Next thing you know, this old ass minivan just SLAMS into me. So I start screaming like a crazy woman, and to avoid any further retardation [between the holidays shoppers, high school kids, old people, out of state drivers, and the fact that it was a rainy Friday night] I pull onto 42 and signal this kid to follow me to the shoulder. Well little douche tries to escape my clutches. I was not having any part of that bullshit. So I got along side of him and was screaming and pointing to the should of the road. He pulled the fuck over. So I throw the car into park and get out. I see this little Hispanic kid [no older then high school] get out of the minivan. I'm like:

what the fuck dumb ass!?! You didn't fucking see me stopped there or hear me blaring my horn?! My girlfriend was eating a damn sandwich, she could have choked, you little jerk off.

There is barely a scratch on the sexy little Yaris. Such a trooper! So I said to him [still screaming of course] that

he was fucking lucky there wasn't any real damage, cos I'd have called the fucking cops so quick.

This kid may or may not have peed himself. I am 4'11'' and I don't think of myself as intimidating. But this kid thought otherwise, apparently. I guess when a complete stranger is screaming and cursing at you, it might be scary? I don't know. I am kinda crazy. So after chewing him out, I scolding the young Douche Bag like I was his mother. I told him he needed to pay the fuck attention to the road and be fucking careful, or he could kill someone. I am awesome, and so is Yaris. Oh, Dr. Beverly Shwan Goatus- you brave bitch. So, I have to go into Philly today. I don't think I'll drive. . .

hahahaa!

And the hits keep coming

hahahahaaa! 

GIFs of the fantastic "shoe incident" just look here....((clickclick))

i love how awesome internet people are...sorry UU

My Kind of Woman

Okay so this bitch, well she tries hard to be one, anywho, this bitch on survivor was trying real hard to be a bitch, wow i talk in circles, anywho...I like a bitch that tries. And TRUST this bitch tries real hard to be a C yoU Next Tuesday. You know, a CUNT. okay so this bitch Corinne on the finally of Survivor...a show i never watch but this season got lots of internet attention because of....well, floppy peen....see below....and I'm sorry.....AnyWhoCaresAboutThat, watch this clip of Corinne trying to be a real mega bitch-and like I said- i like someone who tries to be as much of a bitch as I am..

(PS: click if you REALLY want to see floppy peen in motion)

OH SNAp!!!!

Okay, homeboy UU {thats 2 Us...double U if you will, [W]}  aint outta the office yet and "bama" aint rolling in for atleast a month or some shit...

AnyWhatATerribleIntroductionToAPost, at a press conference in Iraq Homeboy had to dodge two shoes that got chucked at his stupid ass. A reporter at the conference was the culprit and of course security was all up on him in like 2 seconds....but as he was being drug out he shouted "This is a farewell kiss, dog." I just gonna say, I like dis mans style, he'd def fit in with my crew...cuz i know when i roll down to 7-11 and dat hoe behind the counter wants to give me the ten yearold hotdog thats like stuck to the rollers I'm always like "oh no boo boo, you got the wrong guy...I aint havin that shit!" and then i storm out...But if i have a homie to shout and throw a shoe...I'd def get my point across but I'd prolly also have to steal the nachos instead of paying when the worker calss the cops on me. But thats a win right? free comedy and nachos...you cant go wrong.

okay but back to unimportant stuff. After the shoe almost hit UU, the president told the remaining reporters, “I’m OK. “It doesn’t bother me. So what if he threw a shoe at me. All I can report is it is a size 10."

Ha!

Thats funny to me....end.

ps: damn I bad at news stories....

LOLcat Thursday!

LOLcat Thursday!

with love from cheesburgerland!

I HAVE TO FUCKING PEE.

ATTN: I would like to apologize for the angry caps below. Maybe. So please enjoy the following image before your brain gets fucked by the capslock.




I HATE WHEN YOU GOTTA PEE AND YOU CAN'T. THERE'S ALWAYS SOME FUCKING DICKHEAD IN FRONT OF YOU DRIVING LIKE THEY'RE HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE GRAVE OR SOME GOD DAMN FAT ASS IN A MINIVAN SUCKING DOWN A CHEESEBURGER LIKE SHE WON'T HAVE 5 MORE AN HOUR FROM THEN. OR WHEN SOMEONE IS IN THE BATHROOM FOR A LONG TIME FOR NO APPARENT REASON. YOU HEAR THEM SHUFFLING AROUND, TALKING ON THE PHONE, RUMMAGING THROUGH THEIR PURSE, CLEARING THEIR THROAT ECTECTECT. ALL THINGS YOU CAN DO WHEN YOU ARE NOT IN THE FUCKING BATHROOM AND SOMEONE IS WAITINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. You can honk, scream, knock louder, huff and puff, but reality is: people are only concerned for numero uno. And you WILL pee yourself.

PENNSYLVANIA: GET THE MOTHER FUCKING SHIT OUT OF THE GOD DAMN LEFT LANE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, first of all, I would like to start out by saying that I am from NJ, and this is not meant to be a PA VS. NJ thing; it is just a pre-cautionary word of advice to Pennsylvanian drivers who decide they want to go 55 in the left lane when the speed limit is fucking 65. When I drive in PA, more specifically Philly, I don't drive in the middle of the fucking road like other retards from NJ do, I stay to one side. Why? BECAUSE I FUCKING OBEY TRAFFIC LAWS. NO MATTER WHERE I FUCKING AM. It's so fucking ridiculous. I mean seriously, if someone is riding your fucking ass on the highway... AND EVERYONE ELSE BEHIND THEM IS DOING THE SAME ... that means you are in the FUCKING WAY. SO MOVE THE FUCK ASIDE! Is that so fucking hard?! To use your blinker and move into the slow lane!?!? And don't even get me fucking started on turn signals! Because I'm pretty sure that ALL CARS COME EQUIPPED WITH THOSE. Yes, even you fucking douchebags in Cherry Hill. Your cars DO in fact, have turn signals. HOW MIRACULOUS!!!! I ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT THAT LITTLE LEVER DID!!! I MAKE $200,000 A YEAR AND DRIVE A FUCKING NICE ASS CAR BUT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT FOR THE LIFE OF ME HOW TO OPERATE A MOTOR VEHICLE PROPERLY!!! That is sooooooooo weird. Oh my gawd!

Really???

okay listen....

Today my ears were overwhelmingly bombarded with THE N-WORD 

frankly, I think that is some serious bull shit BECAUSE it was coming out of fucking white bitches mouths...not only did they use it...THEY DEFENDED THEIR RIGHT TO SAY IT!!!

I dont know where the fuck these stupid girls think it is okay to drop the N-Bomb and then when i say they shouldn't use that word because there are years of pain and generational ramification and it is truly a hurtful word...they say "why does it offend you? i got lots of black friends so its cool if i say it"

NO BITCH! 

(im gonna apologize now for the 

Kanye blogging stye caps lock)

THIS SHIT AINT OKAY! OH, OH YOU SAY YOU GOT LOTS OF BLACK FRIENDS? THEN YOUR DUMB ASS SHOULD KNOW BETTER THEN TO FUCKING USE THAT WORD! AND DON'T TELL ME THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION IS "SOMEONE WHO IS IGNORANT OR UNEDUCATED" BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOUR ASS LOOKS LIKE IF YOU GOING AROUND USING THAT WORD!!!

JUST BECAUSE I AM WHITE DOES NOT MEAN THAT I CAN'T EMPATHIZE WITH THE STRUGGLES OF CERTAIN GROUPS OF PEOPLES WHO HAVE LIFTED THEMSELVES OUT OF A HORRID TIMES. 

I WANT THESE DUMB WHITE BITCHES TO GO SPEAK WITH THE GRACIOUS BERNICE KING (DAUGHTER OF MARTIN LUTHER KING JR) AND JUST SLIP THE N-WORD INTO THE CONVERSATION IF IT IS SOOOOO OKAY TO SAY.

GOD DAMN IT!!!!!

why are people so fucking stupid.

It'd be better if i just sent them to South Philly blindfolded with i sign around them saying "I USE THE N-WORD DAILY" and we'll see if their ignorant asses come back alive...

ugh...

okay well this that much anger i have to end it happy...so watch some PUPPIES!!!!

BITCH you crazy.

I kid you not that one time i was walking along a street in the lovely town of Philly when i saw a lady walk out of a store causing a scene- Like foreal she should have gotten all of beyonce's roles in movies cuz bitch was actin up a storm. (she kicked "Sasha Feirce's" ass to the ground {dont get me started on B either} damn bitch crazy...ugh) 

Anywowigetofftrackeasy, this bitch was screaming about the damn girl at the counter how distrispectful she was to her and how she aint never gonna shop at that establishment no more. walking down the street seemingly talking to no one but her damn crazy self...

Okay. Listen hoe.....You don't need a damn blue tooth for walking down the damn street. As a matter of fact you look like a crazy bitch if you do.

Hear me out on this one...cuz its a peeve of mine...

that bitch i mentioned above...she looked crazy as fuck. all cuz she aint got a damn phone to her ear. i wouldn't have given a damn if she was doin the same crazy shit if she just had a phone to her ear it just let everybody know..."oh, okay she on the phone"

but no. 

shit.

Damn all this new aged crap, its shit.  Oh, and look a beyonce sellin her damn "B Phone" aint that some shit?